Ep.13 Ruth Coste: Finding Your Voice

I'd like to introduce you to my guest, Ruth Coste.  Ruth lives in the UK and spent many years as a journalist and in the communications industry as a whole before starting her own podcast.

Ruth really holds space for fellow caregivers to have a voice and knows firsthand the struggles as she's taken on challenges with her own aging parents.   In addition to her podcast, Ruth has a health and wellness business as an Arbonne consultant and it was the personal growth she developed with this business that ultimately gave her the courage to start this new chapter.

If you'd like to learn more about Ruth you can check out her podcast about caregivers that is called Yes! I Have a Voice.  You can also find her on Instagram @RuthLewisCosteUK and which has all the links to her website, wellness products, and all that jazz. 

Resources:  Want to know 7 things you can do today to make leaving corporate easier?  Grab it here!

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Transcript

Jamie Stephens: 0:05

Okay, today I've got guest Ruth Coste here she is an entrepreneur living in. Well, Ruth, why don't you tell us a little bit where you're at and kind of what you're doing, and we can just get this conversation kicked off?

Ruth Coste: 0:21

Absolutely. So you might guess from my accent that I'm from the UK. And I'm actually in London. And so that's where I am. And I was born and brought up in London. So I haven't moved very far just moved around the city a bit. So that's, that's where I'm based. In terms of who I am. I'm married. I've been married for 30, nearly 32 years now, which freaks me out a bit. But anyway, I have two grown up children. And, yeah, so I live here in London with my husband. And obviously, my children are also independent of us now completely. And I still have my parents living. And so I'll be talking about that in a minute. And what else I guess my career, oh, gosh, the government that huge career. My career, I was a journalist, I started life at the BBC, in London, working for the World Service. And I started life as a sound engineer, and absolutely loved it. So I was working in radio really loved it. But I learned my craft in journalism, I did not go to university at all. When I left school, just backtracking a wee bit when I left school, didn't know what to do still, I was 17. When I left school, I wasn't very good at school. So I didn't really have much in the way of qualifications and passed many exams, that kind of thing. So I didn't know what I wanted to do. So I went off to France for a good nine months, and I was no pair. And I learned to speak French, which turned out to be a very handy thing. Because when I was working at the BBC, as a sound engineer, I was actually given the opportunity to be linked with the French service. For a year as their specialist, we will call studio managers as their specialist studio manager. And while I was there, I met my husband. So that trip to France when I was turned out to be quite a useful thing later on in my 20s. So then I moved from eventually I moved out of the BBC. And it was absolute fluke, but I got a job in newspapers never worked in newspapers before. So I had this hugely steep learning curve as to what to do. And it was, you know, when I look back, I get scared. At the time, I just don't know how I handled it. But I obviously did, I survived. And

Jamie Stephens: 2:56

sorry, so what were you doing there at the newspaper?

Ruth Coste: 2:59

At that time, I was actually brought in to work on the sports. So I was editing and editing copy wasn't necessarily writing it myself. And it was on a brand new newspaper that was actually owned by Robert Maxwell, if anybody remembers him. And I actually had an interview with him, which was, yeah, quite freaky. Anyway. So then that that newspaper, the actual sort of start date was delayed. So I was put on another newspaper that he owned. And it's a tabloid newspaper. I think you have tabloids? Yeah. Yeah, where you are. And therefore, it was actually, you know, that the whole sort of premise of that was so alien to me in how you have to treat copy and put a headline on and everything that I mean, and I was on the sports desk. And of course, at that time, I was the only female raising, you know, huge testosterone around me. And it was quite, you know, I laugh about it now, but I was, I mean, I still get to like anxiety a little bit when I think about it. But I survived. And that's what the mix still amazes me today. So I went on to work with other newspapers over my career, and I finished my career as a journalist, the past 10 For the last 10 years of it with the Financial Times, which I loved or really enjoyed.

Jamie Stephens: 4:28

Yeah. What kind of things did you write about?

Ruth Coste: 4:30

Well, it was mostly editing. I did write, I wrote a variety of things. I mean, for a magazine I was working on on the FT I actually spoke, I had an interview with the former head of the World Food Program. And because we were doing lots of features about food and podcasting, so I also was the A Podcast Producer for the department I worked for. So I felt like I came full circle. Yeah. Very much like the, you know, the radio that I was doing all those years before. Yeah. And that's what sort of enabled me to start my podcasts that I started a year ago. And that was because having given up my career, which I had done, because I just came to the end of it, truthfully, I was burnt out, and it was just the right time to leave. And then a couple of years after that, I became the primary caregiver to both my parents, particularly my mother. And as a result of that, I started my podcast, which is for caregivers, by caregivers, to really, really sort of just give us a louder voice, and to be able to help one another and sort of in tips and things on to on how to deal with not only the person you're looking after, but how to look after you as well.

Jamie Stephens: 6:00

Yeah, I mean, that's where kind of the struggle lies, right? I mean, like, obviously, you want to do everything you can to help take care of your aging parents and that sort of thing, or whoever you're providing care for, you know, on a full time basis or not. But you know, there's still there's that burden there. The I don't want to say burden, there is the awareness that you can't serve from an empty cup like, and I think that, especially as women, we tend to just give and give and give and give and kind of put ourselves on the backburner and you just, that's really an important thing that you've created to have that support there. Because it's not, I wouldn't say that's the natural place for people to think that they need whenever they're first starting in the journey. It's not like, oh, it's not about me, you know, but really, if you're not there who would be doing it? And so like, it's that whole, put the mask on yourself first before you know anybody else. So

Ruth Coste: 6:59

absolutely, yeah. And we have to remember, it is absolutely necessary, not only okay, but necessary for us to look after ourselves. But also, one thing that occurred to me, once I was sort of thrown into this position was that I realized that obviously, millions of people around the world are in the same situation for a variety of reasons. But people don't generally talk about it. So when you ask somebody, well, you know, what do you do, you might get about their career, just as I've told you all the other things, but they don't, in their within that say, Oh, I'm a caregiver, too. They just kind of just wipe that out of their slate of their CV, if you like, as if it doesn't exist. And my point was that that's wrong, we should own it, we should be able to say, and I do this, as well, as it's part of me, it's part of my life, it's part of who I am. And not be frightened to say that as if people look at them differently. And if they do well, it's just an education, we have to give people to change that. So this is my whole point about it was to not only help the individuals, but also just raise the awareness that you know, it is part of who we are. It doesn't have to be your sort of, you know, Debbie Downer or whatever. And we have the right to talk about it and be open.

Jamie Stephens: 8:27

That's awesome. So have you found that you like? Or really, the more you talk about it, you're really starting to find that community that is really just kind of gravitated? You know, I mean, I don't really know what I'm asking except that. I mean, I feel like, and I'm just kind of rambling now. But like, I don't know, I don't know what my point was. I'm just gonna skip that.

Ruth Coste: 8:57

You're trying to ask me? Yes, I'm finding so many people who have an awful lot to give. Now, a lot of people, you know, like me, they just sort of muddled through and have come out the other end and therefore can in hindsight, give, you know, give their hindsight to people. Yeah. And how I always ask people were How did you create joy with the person you were looking after, which helps and gives people ideas. I mean, that the whole thing through this, it helped me enormously. It gave me tips and then ideas of what I could do, particularly to help my mother So very briefly, my mother went into hospital with a urine infection in January 2021. Also had COVID. As it turned out, he was in hospital for three weeks. She'd a couple of months later, actually, although she'd already had the tests. The doctors decided she had very, very mild dementia. But it's it was senile dementia more than anything, I think. because she's 90, she was 90 then. And she basically, from that point went downhill dramatically. She got very, very, very anxious about falling because that's what got her in hospital in the first place. And the more she was in hospital the more she became anxious the more she went into hospital again, because she's she, you know, that cycle fell, but she just kind of collapsed down. And it was like this, you know, this this spiral that was going down. And all the while her dementia was actually increasing rapidly. And I find out No, no medical decisions on this. But it feels like COVID had an impact on that. Yeah. So she's now bed bound. Completely. She's, I think forgotten, just does, she's got the muscle power, she wanted to use it, but she's forgotten how to walk, she can't stand. The other day, for some reason, she decided she had obviously forgotten this and decided to try and take herself to the toilet. And of course, got out of bed and just collapsed down and ended up in hospital. Yeah, but she was fine. And she's just, you know, as I say, it's just been a very, very steep decline in the past year. So with all of that, and doing my, doing the podcasts, I've not only had a huge amount of some lessons to learn from the people I've been interviewing, which has been great. But I've also discovered, there are so many people out there who are doing such amazing things and on different levels, and for different reasons, not only about dementia, but about all sorts of things. And we're not talking only people who coach or anything like that. But people who I spoke to one lady the other day who has invested in a startup that's got a sort of a system to help people, even before they get perhaps to that stage, who might still be living independently, and their families not necessarily on site. And this system can actually help alert people I know there are lots of alarms already. But this is something slightly more dif slightly different and more technical. And it goes into things more deeply. Like you can actually have sensors that are in some unintrusive around the around the home. And you can even have one on the fridge so that you know whether somebody is eating or not, you're not, you know, little things like that, which is actually very important when when you've got elderly people in particular, who are on their own or even, it could be younger people, but they might have lots of things going on, that they might forget to eat. Right. So it could be extremely useful. Yeah. And so I've met so many other people doing some really amazing things. And I've started interviewing a lot more people on that score, they might not necessarily have been caregivers themselves yet. But I just felt that was very anything that I feel useful. Anything I believe, with, I would be interested in I then, you know, look to interview someone on that score, because it's just something that we don't get access to, you don't know who's out there. And it's about sort of trying to bring that together as a community. So it's a self help group in that sense.

Jamie Stephens: 13:30

No, I really like that. What I was thinking of while you were talking about kind of like what's involved and everything. It's just like, What do you think would be different? If the last couple of years you hadn't been an entrepreneur if you hadn't been able to kind of take the time that you need and do all these things as the caregiver that is just kind of this unrecognized third job second jaw, you know, whatever it is, but have you thought about that, like what it would be if you didn't have that?

Ruth Coste: 14:08

I have huge I'm always thinking about it. It was just perfect timing. I think you know, the universe handed me the opportunity to take a step back from my career, leave my career at a perfect time to get give me a chance to get used to that life living without a you know that career. And I can't say I've missed it all. Right. I've loved every minute. And my knowledge, because actually what happened was you know, long before that happened, I had already started an online health and wellness business anyway. And because of the the training that I get from that the sort of the teaching and the learning and the reading and everything else, I had personally grown so so much that when it came to handling this i I was ready. I knew what to do. And not only obviously, when it came to starting my podcast, I knew I had the experience. More importantly, I had the confidence to do it. Because without all that, sort of training those years of personal development that I'd had through my other business, I wouldn't be doing this, I really wouldn't be doing it. Yeah, I know that I would have kind of just gone into a panic and the things that have, you know, knocked me emotionally what have you, I'd be wallowing in deep sort of self pity or who knows what, just wallowing in it, I would not have the tools to get me out, I can turn myself around quite quickly from being really quite low, emotionally, to just being upbeat again, and what I call normal, right, I can deal with that I can face it, even facing the kind of, you know, what the is happening, and it took me a while, but I can face the fact that particularly my mother is declining, I'm not sort of, you know, saying, oh, woe is me, it's not fair. You know, I look at it differently. I look at the fact that they've had such a good, long and fabulous life. And I've been very, very blessed to have them for so long, I look at it like that, rather than with regret, regret about oh, you know, they, they're getting elderly, they sort of on their last legs and all this other thing, which I have heard other people say, but I really look at it on as a positive thing. If they, if they go tomorrow, I would not have regrets. Because, you know, I feel blessed that they've been around for so long. And all this comes from the knowledge that I have gained by being an entrepreneur. Without it, I would be a very, very different person. today.

Jamie Stephens: 16:52

Yeah. It's amazing how various things come into your life, like right at the time that you need them, and you maybe you don't even know that you need them at the time. And then you start down the path. And then it's like, years later, it's like, oh, like, that was just divine timing, that was just part of the plan, you know, a bit loosely, like everything is happening for us, not to us. And I know, like, in the moment that can be really, really hard pill to swallow and really accept, but I mean, even like, leaving your job, or finding this other business, or you know, all of these things, it's, it's, I think it's just beautiful.

Ruth Coste: 17:39

Yeah, it's amazing how, if you get the right personal development through what you're doing, it just can make all the difference, it really can help you handle the bad times as well as the good times. Because every time I have a kind of a stumbling block, or a knock regarding my, my mother, which I've had recently, just through the inefficiency of our social services, and it's like taken me two weeks to get through to people and tell them, you know, I've been repeating, repeating repeating the same story as to why it's urgent to actually get my mother a hospital bed. But nobody was passing on messages, and therefore the company who had to deliver it, but had to deliver it at a certain time, so I can have help I need it, you know, I needed to have another pair of hands. Nobody was like sending them the little chips that they excuse me, that they had to have to be able to allow me to have a bed delivered at a set time in a day.

Jamie Stephens: 18:45

You're like, Guys, this is not hard.

Ruth Coste: 18:48

Yeah, you know, and, obviously, communication is the simplest thing. And then when you get somebody saying, Oh, but I'm working from home, I sit but that doesn't stop you being able to communicate. That whole scenario, this past couple of weeks, has absolutely sent my stress levels through the roof. But whatever I've, you know, whenever I've kind of been to dragging myself back to center, as it were. I've literally just been telling myself over and over and over again. It will all work out. It will all work out. And of course, sure enough, it has finally has worked out. But while you're going through it, you just think is anybody ever going to help me or is this ever going to finish? Or am I ever going to get to the end of this? But the again, the knowledge I have always tells me things work out. It might not be exactly when I wanted or when you want it. But they always, always, always work out for the best.

Jamie Stephens: 19:48

Yeah. Yeah, that's, that's very true. I mean, I think it's all in the, I mean, there's so many lessons to learn as an entrepreneur that are just so ballad on all aspects of our life about being humble, and the humility and the setbacks and but then that drive and tenacity and like all of those things, it's just really a flex whenever, you know, you get to apply those to other areas of your life. And it's just like it when it comes full circle, it's really just kind of like, hey, like, look how I've grown like, I know, I wouldn't have handled it this way, like two or three years ago, or, you know, I mean, it's, it's amazing to just kind of see that growth. And so that's

Ruth Coste: 20:37

the other thing I will say is a one another thing I've learned because of my growth and confidence, which you might think, well, if I had a career like I did, how come I wasn't confident and outwardly. Apparently, I looked confident, but I 100% wasn't. So I didn't speak out, I didn't sort of, you know, stand my ground on things. So one thing I have learned through the personal growth is to say what I want to say. And there are ways you can say you don't have to be rude or nasty or anything. But I do state my case, I'm I might sound sometimes I just say it without emotion. And I know which, because people aren't used to that. They often feel it's being kind of quite Curt. But all I'm doing is communicating in the simplest way without flour. What I want, and I've learned to do that, I mean, apart from obviously, my, my journalistic training, but also, because I've learned I found my voice, I've learned to say what I want to say, as opposed to what but not say that because they might get upset or this or that. And I just say, Look, this is the case, this is what I feel. This is what I believe should happen. And that's how it goes without accusation without judgment. But it's learning to do that. And I've learned to do that.

Jamie Stephens: 22:02

Yeah. I mean, that's just huge. I mean, just being able. And it's so funny, because I don't think men have these conversations, right? You're right. I don't. And I mean, I know I tend to generalize between like the male and female, because it's like, I too, came from a male dominated career path, like, and it's just the things. It's just different. I mean, it is just different. Like if you're in a male dominated industry versus a female dominated industry. And just kind of the things that you experience, and how that if you let it, how it affects you, like internally, because it's like, well, yeah, you can appear confident. But really, that's just courage. Because that's like, you know, you're like dying on the inside, whenever you're learning to do these things. And really just kind of say what you mean. And it's like, we have to go through all of these filters as women to like, well, I can't be too needy. I can't say it this way. I can't say it that way. I've got to do this. But you know, and then like, if you add on, well, I don't want to hurt their feelings. It's like, no, like, just state facts. thing. Get it out there. And that just, it just takes a lot of courage. To Yeah, I mean, and I mean, it's such a skill

Ruth Coste: 23:29

to thank you for saying that. That's rather nice. I like that. And I think you're right, you know, it is really tough. When they when people say, you know, living in a man's world, which I think still exists, unfortunately, it's true. We're always trying to match the men. Instead of actually being a woman, you know, we are, we are a different type of person, we, we show our feelings more we talk about our feelings more, we bring feeling emotions, into our speech as well, you know about how we feel about something, or instead of saying, I think we should do this, I feel we should. And that's just a natural thing, I think for us. And when you're living in an environment where people don't talk like that, as soon as you do they think it's a weakness, right. And it's absolutely not, it's just, you know, different language but saying the same thing. And therefore, when we're in a very male dominated area, we believe we can't say that because it just makes us seem timid and like they can walk all over us and all this kind of thing, which is not the case at all really. Right.

Jamie Stephens: 24:43

Yeah, no, it's it's interesting how it all just kind of ebbs and flows and comes together. And I mean, just the things I don't know. It's just fascinating to me, like how lessons come together and how just the experiences of people Bowling? I don't know. So tell me about your health and wellness business.

Ruth Coste: 25:06

Okay, so I have actually been working it for 10 years. Awesome. And when I came across it, it's a brand called Arbonne. They've been around actually for just over 40 years. Yes, I love. And, yeah, it's a health and wellness, that brilliant, you know, and what I love most now is that we are a B Corp, which is huge. And as I'm really quite passionate about keeping the planet safe. These, the whole ethos of this company ties into that. And it has been like that actually, since day one, we just obviously B Corporations didn't exist. They're

Jamie Stephens: 25:46

not familiar with that. What does that mean a B Corp.

Ruth Coste: 25:49

in in very briefly, it is means that a company looks after people, as well as the planet alongside profits. Oh, not purely about profits and nothing else, they really do care about the other things too. And you have to go through quite a lot of hoops to get that certification and you do it repeatedly. It's not just a one off, and then you've got it for life, you have to constantly be sort of judged tested, to make sure you're keeping up with the the sort of the standards. It's it's been around for I think it was 2014. It came in and is so it is still new. And it is there aren't that many companies? I mean, at the last look, there are about 4000 in the world. Wow. All different sizes and all different industries. But to me, it's a yardstick of the sort of companies I want to be buying from basically.

Jamie Stephens: 26:49

Yeah, I mean, I think that's a good point too, as, as consumers, we we carry a lot of weight and a lot of power with our pocketbooks. Yeah, organization around that kind of stuff to like, encouraging some of these male dominated companies to get on board with our values, the values, you know, so, no, I like that. I'm gonna have to do some more research on that, because I had, I wasn't aware that that was even a thing.

Ruth Coste: 27:18

Please do because it's actually really, really impressive. So yeah, so I'm proud of that. So. But on the ethos, it's grown over the years, and you know, we are safe, hugely sustainable, but I love the community that I am part of. If you if you want to be, I suppose what I call it, maybe this is downing I don't know a low level entrepreneur. In other words, you're not ready to say take on even a franchise which could cost you a mortgage. You know, it's a mortgage decision. What I'm doing is not a mortgage decision for anybody. And the best thing when I said yes to it was the fact that I had always hankered after having my own business didn't know what I wanted to do never had an inkling. But what really what made me say yes, was knowing I had support, I was going to have a mentor, who would show me what to do. And that made a huge, huge difference to me. And this is what we do, you know, we're bringing people into, like, they're literally doing an about face in their life, really, that they might have always had a job and a career and been told this is the way to go. And here we are saying what actually yes, you can do that as well. But alongside that you can learn to be an entrepreneur. And because of the way you know that the whole economy is going learning to be an entrepreneur is actually more secure than having a job, right? useful. And if people want more out of life, we only get one life. And if we do not want to be on our deathbed, regretting things that we didn't do, but being happy about the things we did do, then we might have to think again as to what we're doing with our life when we're still living it. Right. And to me, you know, taking, taking opportunities, taking a few chances. And in the the beauty about our bond for me was that I was taking a chance, but I wasn't having to sell my home to do it. Right. And if anything went wrong. Well, so I was ending up with a few lovely products to use and that was it.

Jamie Stephens: 29:33

Yeah. Would you say that that really helped you also make the leap and into the podcasting, like aside from the personal development, just kind of the structure that he received and kind of counsel

Ruth Coste: 29:48

100% Because it's all part and parcel of personal development is learning to be an entrepreneur, learning about business if you don't already know. And you can learn earned a lot of our business. But without the practical side, it's still only, you know, like in book form, you have to do it to really know it. And it makes a big difference, it encourages you to be courageous to take those leaps of faith to step out your comfort zone. And often you don't know where it's gonna lead, you don't know if it's gonna work. But it doesn't matter. It's because you do things and maybe so called fail, but actually helps you there is actually no failure, they, they're only in learning steps. So if something doesn't work out in the way you expected to, or expected it to, that's great, because you've learned something, you will always have learned at least one thing from it, and quite often a lot more. So it's about also taking ownership of your life. The one thing that's been a huge thing for me is taking responsibility for everything I do, you know, even down to losing weight. Yes, we can go but you know, and sort of perhaps go on so called diets and happier, which, you know, I know these days, people are doing less and less. But and when it doesn't work, we don't look at ourselves and things that will actually I didn't really do what I should have done. I didn't do it, you know, enough or whatever. People will always say, Oh, it doesn't work, their system doesn't work, or this doesn't work. But actually, we have to learn to take responsibility for everything we do. Because it is totally 100%. Always, always, always down to us and our actions and our attitudes.

Jamie Stephens: 31:46

Yes, preach. Yeah, it's just so true. I mean, it's, you know, and sometimes you just, you know, we come across a lot of people in our lives. And it's like, if, if there could be one lesson that you could pass along to everyone you meet, you know, how huge would it be if it were that just take ownership, period, like, take ownership of you of yourself of your growth of your attitude, like every single thing, just take care of you and the rest will take care of itself?

Ruth Coste: 32:24

Absolutely not real people did that be far less anger in the world? For know that you wouldn't see people demonstrating so much in the streets? Because actually, that's, that's kind of a negative attitude, you wouldn't, you know, that's just bringing on negative energy and repeating it, I'm just going down that sort of rabbit warren of negativity, and it does not get the result. Because the results. And this is neuroscience, this really is scientific, though the results always come from actually flipping it on its head. And looking at the positives, I don't mean being happy clock clappy or anything like that. Looking at the positives, but hugely, a huge part of it is taking ownership. And if we do that on a collective, then it's massive in the world. Yeah.

Jamie Stephens: 33:19

Yeah, I think what was the story with lower the, there was something where it's like with Mother Teresa, where she said she would never I'm gonna butcher the quote, but do you know what I'm talking about? Can you help me out here? Where it's like, I will never attend an anti war rally or something like that. Yeah. But I'll be the first in line for like a peace rally, you know, to where it's like, what you focus on grows. And so like, all of these demonstrations, because you're pissed off, like, you're not going about it the right way, just from, like, the whole perspective. I mean, it's just like, focus on what you want, not what you don't want that adding energy and attention goes. And it's like, when you focus on any sort of war, that's like a war on drugs or a war on crime or what you know, it's like, what happens? It just explodes.

Ruth Coste: 34:19

Exactly. And of course, there was there was Mother Teresa, there was Gandhi who did the same thing. You know, he, he's his protest was peaceful. You decided not to take food for his protest, but he just lay there waiting for others to actually kind of wake up. And they did. And, you know, it's, it's, it's huge to be able to do that. And also, if you look at Northern Ireland more recently, I mean, I don't I can't state facts here. So I'm not going to say this is 100% Fact. But what I remember reading about when it was happening, and was there was a group of mothers who got together because they'd lost sons or whatever which whatever connection they had to the troubles there. And they got together, because they had decided they'd had enough. And these mothers didn't go kind of like barging in and angry and all this kind of thing they got together, and they work together. And it was Catholics and Protestants working together. And that started the whole kind of peace movement, that snowboard, it took years. But it snowballed into a whole feeling that the community that sort of caught on to have, it's time for peace. Now let's stop the anger. Let's stop all the bombing. Yeah. And that, to me was how it how that peace, sort of peaceful annulment works, it might take a bit longer. But it's the energy that comes from it that eventually multiplies and multiplies. And it builds momentum. And eventually, people get it. And although it's not really spoken about, it did actually happen, because I remember it in the news about these women who love getting together.

Jamie Stephens: 36:15

Yeah. And it's so talk about courage, you know, being able to lay down your own hurts and your own pain in order to come together to reach some, like, what are we doing? Like, we're just killing each other's children. You know, I mean, like, that is courage. It's not courage to just shoot him from the sky. And like, you don't have to face that, but like to face that and say, like, what are we doing? I mean, that is there's so much power, like a quiet power that comes whenever, like, you just focus on the outcome, like that you desire instead of the anger or, you know, whatever it is to? I don't know, I like that.

Ruth Coste: 37:09

Yeah. Because also, you know, it's all about energy. And again, this is this is scientific fact, it's all about energy. And if you have positive energy going through, it actually, you know, lights up everything around you, and everything just becomes better, kinda a nicer place to be. If your energy is sort of like, I see it as dark, almost, but negative. It's just going to get down and worse, and everybody's going to be angry. And there's going to be a lot of hate, and all this kind of thing that breeds all those kinds of issues. And it just perpetuates it. Yeah. And it's, it's absolutely a fact. And it's absolutely huge. It's not just one person, it's the whole sort of momentum that builds around it.

Jamie Stephens: 38:05

Yeah, I'm ready for that science to be like, more widely known. Like, I feel like we're on the cusp of more and more and more people learning about energy and learning kind of it. I say, more and more people, it could just be because now I know about that. We tend to like, oh, well, everybody must know about it now. But like, I You just hear about it more, it just seems more mainstream versus like, oh, that's just woowoo. And I think it is that science that allows people to kind of access that at a different level to where it's like, Oh, okay. No, you're not full of it. Like there's actual science behind here.

Ruth Coste: 38:50

Absolutely. Because, and it is definitely growing. There's no doubt. And the thing is, it's been around for corner since time since humans have been around. It's been there. It's just now Yeah, it's like in our era, the past I don't know how many hundreds of years. People need to have the science to decide whether it's actually here or not. But it is, it really, really is. And always has been, is just yeah, we're we're more enlightened now. And that's definitely growing.

Jamie Stephens: 39:21

Yeah, which is lovely. Like, all of a sudden, it's just like, oh, all these people that have been meditating and you know, just the prayer and the monks and the chanting, like all of these things that everybody just it's like, oh, that's something different. And then it's like, oh, no, actually, there's like scientific evidence that this is helpful. Like, this is what it does to your body. This is what does to your brain. Like all of these things. This is how energy works. It's just, yeah, I'm ready for it to be more and more mainstream because I mean, sometimes still, I'll say stuff like that. And my husband will just be like, What are you talking about? Like, okay, We're on, we're on different journeys, but you know, it's, it's more and more like he's coming to the, like he's started meditating and that sort of thing, finally, and it's like after I've been doing it for years, and he's like, Oh, okay. Little bits and pieces of starting to actually like, oh, okay, I get it.

Ruth Coste: 40:21

It's so interesting. And sometimes you're surprised by people. Because, you know, quite recently I've been talking to my father is not a very, he's not a great talker. So he doesn't talk about himself very much. And so, you know, over the last, I don't know, few years, I've been talking to him bit by bit. And I've been really surprised when I've said anything about sort of, you know, the universe, spirituality, whatever. He's, he's actually agreed with me. And in a way that he's saying, Yes, I know that. Yes, you're right. That's true. And I'm thinking, but you never said this before? Where have you been? And yet, my mother, who I would have thought, would have been more into that. She's Oh, that's right. The whole rubbish. Don't talk about us so ridiculous. And you know, I would have absolutely put it the other way around. So I've really, really been surprised by quite a lot of people who say, Oh, yes, I do agree with that. Yes, you're right. Or they're meditating. I'm thinking really? I didn't have you pegged as someone who did that, you know, it's so interesting.

Jamie Stephens: 41:31

Yeah, that's really cool. So what is like the best piece of advice or like a mantra or something you had to adopt in order to really take that leap when the time came? And that you know that you were offered to leave your job? Like, is there something that prepared you more than anything else?

Ruth Coste: 41:54

Yeah, I have to go back to our bond. And all the time, all the teaching, I had through that, truthfully, because I had so had been growing over time, by by the time I decided I wanted to leave, I had been thinking about it for about two years, I was so burnt out that I knew something had to change. And I could tell as well, because I'd always been someone who wanted I was thinking about the next step, where am I going to move to, you know, what sort of what position did I want to have, so that I could grow. And I stopped doing that last couple of years of my career. So I knew something was up. But it was my gross, and kind of like rediscovering myself, that made me realize that I didn't actually want to be in that environment anymore. It was I was being kept in a box. And I felt very much like a Jekyll and Hyde. I could be who I wanted outside of work. But when I was in work, I had to be like, literally held in my box. And, you know, obviously a lot of people I was working with, although lovely people. They were negative, you know, oh, had a terrible journey in Oh, this happened, oh, my goodness, that happened, you know, and because of my growth, it was like, stop. I don't even want to hear this. This is just so what. So that started it. And when actually happened. I was actually I mean, I always said, you know, what would be nice as if I could go and get a lump of money to go rather than just say, you know, give my resignation. And what happened in the end was that I started to hear that there might be the opportunity to do this in a roundabout the kind of I'm in October, I'm starting to talk to the people I need to talk to to find out. If, you know, what would happen if I did take voluntary redundancy, etc, cetera, is it likely to happen? And the answer was, well, you know, new owners as it was, then it's very unlikely we don't know, this kind of thing. So I just sort of say, Oh, well, I'll just sort of sit and wait. I'm not going to rush. And then I literally came across a colleague of mine, who's my age, and she left. And it was a few weeks after I discovered that she'd left because she took one two redundancy and I went Adichie. Interesting. So I started, I started asking about it. And by this time, it was January, and normally voluntary redundancies go until Christmas, and then that's it. They stopped. And I went in to see my with the guy I needed to speak to and I just said, you know, I'm interested, is there any chance of a voluntary redundancy coming along? And he said, Honestly, I don't know in the future, but I can tell you that we just had around, but we do have enough money for one more person. So I said, That's very interesting.

Jamie Stephens: 44:57

Sign me up.

Ruth Coste: 44:58

Well, he said, But you I have to make a quick decision because somebody else is interested. And of course, I couldn't sit there and then I'm taking it. But I said, Okay, I gave myself 24 hours just because, yeah, dealt with my husband that he was, you know, sort of okay with me doing that, although obviously, he knew what was going on. And I went in the following day and said, right, I'm going to accept it. And that's it. Then I literally that was on the Friday, the Saturday I was flying out to spend three weeks in Australia. So I left them to it. And when I came back, it was all done and dusted. I just worked out my notice. And that was it. It was as easy as that. So I knew again, because the universe had brought it to me unexpectedly. It all happened with total total ease. Yeah. And I knew it was right. Because of that.

Jamie Stephens: 45:50

I love that. In three weeks in Australia, that sounds amazing.

Ruth Coste: 45:56

We were visiting our daughter who has been living there, so Yes, awesome.

Jamie Stephens: 46:02

Okay, final question. What is your favorite Arbonne product?

Ruth Coste: 46:08

That's a hard one there. There's about 400 Oh, wow. Yeah. So to check on the cool side, you know, I do sway between one thing and another.

Jamie Stephens: 46:22

Okay, top three. Right.

Ruth Coste: 46:25

So I definitely would go with the skincare, the AGEWELL. And I have the it's called the dinar, I've gotten the name of it now. Don't results don't results do. So it's you get like a pad that you can kind of you know, sculpt your your skin with. So it takes up all the dead skin cells. And then there's also an oil that goes with it to sort of smooth it out afterwards. Oh, nice. That that can be one product. I love that. I love the AGEWELL Night Cream. That feels amazing. And the skin conditioning oil because it is so versatile. Just recently, I've actually I think this is due to the stress, I have had a bit of eczema. And I've been using the skin conditioning oil on this eczema and it is going awesome. So you know, it's one of those things that you can use on a child's grazed knee, or use on something like eczema or even on your cuticles of your of your nails. And the skin just you know, regenerates. And it all comes back to life.

Jamie Stephens: 47:38

Nice. Awesome. Well, thank you so much for your time, Ruth, this has been such a great conversation. And I want to thank you for what you're doing and bringing this podcast to people that need to hear it and need the support and need the resources. So I think it's lovely, what you're doing. Tell people where they can find the podcast where they can find more about you your business and products and all of those things.

Ruth Coste: 48:05

Okay, thank you for having me on here. I really enjoy that. So my podcast is cool. Yes, exclamation mark, I have a voice. And you can find it on on Apple podcasts and Spotify. So yeah, please do listen, you know, then download and sort of just enjoy. I don't know if you can like them, actually, I've not found a way of actually being able to like things.

Jamie Stephens: 48:35

Yeah, Spotify has a way that you can do five stars. Now, I think they're trying to catch up a little bit. So you can do a rating on Spotify. And then of course, you can leave a review on iTunes, as well. So

Ruth Coste: 48:49

that would be brilliant. If you enjoy it, please do that, because I'd really appreciate it. And in terms of our bond, you can actually find my website with my full name, which is Ruth Lewis cost, I guess there'll be in the show notes. Yes, it's roots, Lewis cost dot our bond.com. And if you put that into, you know, into your search engine, it should come up into our bond, and then you can shop freely and just it'll get sent to you once you've registered. On the other hand, if you would like to have more information before you do that, I'd been very happy to have you contact me. And you can do that via via Instagram. And that my name there is Ruth Lewis cost UK. Facebook and that's Ruth Lewis hyphen cost.

Jamie Stephens: 49:49

Awesome. And I will put all of those links in the show notes so everybody can come and find you and support you and all the good things.

Ruth Coste: 49:58

And I would like to just say that even If you contact me for more information about anything to do with our bond, you're not obliged to carry you know, to carry that through and sort of like buy something just having information is absolutely fine. And just know that you're not going to be sort of caught into something that you don't want to be caught in.

Jamie Stephens: 50:20

Yeah, no, always important. Exactly. All right, well, thank you so much. And I'm gonna turn this off